


People Who Are Good Like Pie

by son_of_a_bitch_supernatural



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel is a Little Shit, Confused Dean, Creatively ties eating pie into sex, Dean is In Over His Head, DeanxPie, Flustered Dean, M/M, NSFW, Sounds disgusting but it's really not I promise, blowjob, fluff and porn, it's hilarious, sort of, you'll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-09
Updated: 2016-09-09
Packaged: 2018-08-14 01:53:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7994305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/son_of_a_bitch_supernatural/pseuds/son_of_a_bitch_supernatural
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I- what?” Dean muttered, his bottom lip catching between his teeth. What fucking pie? Dean had forgotten the pie. </p><p>“Eat the pie.” Cas ordered, his wrist flicking on each word.  </p><p>“Fuck the pie.” Dean groaned, his head tipping back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	People Who Are Good Like Pie

**Author's Note:**

> So, I've been doing writing prompts on Tumblr, with or without requests, and I did one that required the sentence, "Forget it. You fucking suck."
> 
> This is my creation.

Dean was about to lose his shit.    
  


To be fair, it was a very important moment. It was something that Dean didn’t know he needed until it was happening. It was unexpected and Dean was left on the edge of his seat, eyes bulging as he watched the very important scene unfold.    
  
Cas was trying pie for the first time.   
  
Now, Dean knew that everyone had different tastes. He understood that there were some things that people just didn’t like. Him? He couldn’t eat okra if it meant saving the world and that was really saying something. But, come on, it was  _ pie! _   
  
That was why when Cas’ face scrunched up and he quickly swallowed, pushing the plate away and staring at it in barely veiled disdain, Dean felt as if his world had just crashed and went up in flames. Cas’ blue eyes flickered up and seen his horror. He immediately fixed his face and gave a tiny, strained smile.    
  
“It’s good.” Cas said, lying so obviously.    
  
“You hate it.” Dean muttered in shock.    
  
“No, no! I don’t hate it… I just…don’t like it.” Cas said hesitantly, wincing.   
  
“How can you not like it? It’s pie!” Dean burst out, feeling oddly betrayed.    
  
“I’m sorry, Dean. I’m human now and there’s just something unsatisfactory about it.” Cas explained and shrugged.    
  
“There’s nothing unsatisfactory about pie, Cas.” Dean snapped and grabbed the plate, dunking his fork in it.    
  
“Maybe not to  _ you _ but it’s just not good to me.” Cas retorted, frowning.    
  
“What’s not good about it?” Dean challenged, narrowing his eyes.    
  
“The crust is flaky, the apples are lumpy, and the gooey part is like swallowing a slimy fish.” Cas said, arching an eyebrow.    
  
Dean stared at Cas with wide eyes. He slowly swallowed the bite he held between his teeth and straightened. Cas did not just  _ insult _ …pie. There was no fucking way.    
  
“You-  _ You’re _ like slimy fish.” Dean mumbled weakly, mostly stunned in place.    
  
“Dean, this does not change me. You should not see me any differently just because I don’t hold pie at the relevance that you do.”   
  
“Well, how am I supposed to see you!? You hate pie, man! That’s like when someone’s dog doesn’t like someone, you just know they’re actually a shitty person.”    
  
“Dean.” Cas sighed, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. “That makes no sense.”   
  
“Everyone who’s good likes pie.” Dean shot back, shoveling in another bite.    
  
“Well, not me.” Cas huffed, turning his head away and glaring at the refrigerator in the bunker kitchen.    
  
Dean grunted quietly and went back to eating. It was a vigorous sort of moment and Dean tore into the pie with a venomous anger that poured off him. The fork scraped the dish in the silence and Cas stayed silent, refusing to break first.    
  
“M'not saying you're bad.” Dean finally mumbled, his mouth still full. Cas glanced at him and at seeing his cheeks puffed out, his face softened.    
  
“You kinda did.” Cas said.    
  
“Well, shit, what do you expect? You don’t like pie. I dunno if we can even be friends anymore.” Dean grumbled.   
  
“Oh, don’t be dramatic. I don’t like pie but you do and I like you, so isn’t that good enough?” Cas said, a cute smile curling his lips as he eyed Dean playfully.    
  
The words caught Dean by surprise and he blushed before he could get it in check. The heat flooded his cheeks and he quickly averted his eyes. Cas chuckled anyway.    
  
“Forget it. You fucking suck.” Dean muttered, scowling through his blush, sulking as Cas continued to laugh at him.    
  
“I suck?” Cas asked, his tone going from teasing to flirtatious quicker than Dean could follow it. “I could if you like.”   
  
The pie he was attempting to swallow got lodged in his throat and he choked. His eyes watered as he struggled to swallow through a suddenly thick throat. Cas eyed him in open amusement, his eyes dancing in a way Dean couldn’t look away from.    
  
“Cas?” Dean wheezed. “What the fuck?”    
  
“I mean, surely, there must be a way for me to prove that I’m good person, despite my dislike of pie.” Cas hummed.    
  
Dean gaped at Cas and suddenly wondered if this was another one of his dreams he never had full control over. But, nope, that was definitely Cas’ hand on his thigh. Definitely Cas giving him a wink and moving from his chair and sinking to his knees beside Dean. Definitely Cas jerking Dean’s chair leg to have Dean face him in a move that should’ve in no way been sexy but most definitely was.   
  
“Uh, Cas…” Dean garbled, staring down at Cas with wide eyes.    
  
“Don’t stop on my account, Dean. It  _ is _ pie after all.” Cas said, waving vaguely at the pie that Dean had forgotten about in the span of a few seconds.   
  
Dean started to say something but Cas’ fingers plucked at the button on his jeans, easing it open with one smooth nimble motion of his fingers. Whatever Dean was gonna say evaporated from his mind and it was all Dean could do not to swallow his tongue. What the fuck was happening?    
  
There was a moment before Cas had his fingers wrapped around Dean’s dick but the moment it passed, Dean was a changed man. There was the Dean before Cas was tugging his half hard dick from his jeans and there was the Dean after and they were two totally different people.    
  
Cas’ stupidly big, blue eyes peered up at him and there was nothing but confidence in them. That was sexy as hell and Dean was baffled at where it came from. His confusion easily melted away as Cas’ sure fingers began smoothing over him, easing up and down, making him harder with each stroke. Dean couldn’t move, couldn’t think.    
  
It was a dream. It  _ had _ to be.    
  
But, fuck, it wasn’t. It was too real, too fucking perfect. No dream could get it this right. Cas’ fingers tightened just so and twisted and Dean’s eyes flickered shut.    
  
“Is this alright?” Cas asked softly.    
  
“Fuck, Cas, it’s- fuck. Yes, yes, it’s alright.” Dean managed to garble out.    
  
“Good.” Cas hummed. “Now, eat your pie.”   
  
“I- what?” Dean muttered, his bottom lip catching between his teeth. What fucking pie? Dean had forgotten the pie.    
  
“Eat the pie.” Cas ordered, his wrist flicking on each word.     
  
“Fuck the pie.” Dean groaned, his head tipping back. 

  
He didn’t really think about the words, just said them. It was sensory overload. There were fingers stroking his dick, a hand rubbing his thigh, and hot puffs of breath huffing against his hip. There was too much going on his head to even think about the pie or how he’d just forsaken it.    
  
“Take a bite or I stop.” Cas said seriously.    
  
Dean had the plate in his hands and the fork shoveling a bite in his mouth before he could even think. Cas smirked and Dean closed his eyes around the sensations. Delicious pie on his tongue paired with warm fingers on his dick was like a piece of heaven Dean didn’t know existed.    
  
“Shit.” Dean cursed softly.    
  
“Another.” Cas ordered, his voice dropping, getting rougher, more gravelly.    
  
Dean did as Cas asked and the warm pie hit his tongue at the same time Cas’ lips wrapped around his dick. Dean near about came out of his seat, a jolt ran through him so hard. A moan brokenly fell past his lips and the bite eased down his throat.    
  
“Fuck!” Dean blurted. “Fucking hell!”    
  
Cas hummed and paused, his eyes flicking between the pie and Dean. He got the message and took another bite, his hand shaking and making the fork clink against the plate as he got a bite.    
  
The moment the fork passed his lips, Cas went to town. He bobbed away and Dean groaned loudly, his tongue pushing against the quite frankly orgasmic pie. Dean had no idea where Cas learned to do it and he almost didn’t want to know but fuck, he was thankful for whatever the source was.    
  
Though, it wasn’t all finesse and perfection. Cas gagged every now and again and he was eager, almost treating Dean’s dick like it was a tootsie pop and he wanted to get to the center. But, it was good. It was good and the pie was good and Dean was five seconds from blowing in Cas’ mouth, which was not like Dean usually. It was just so much going on and Dean didn’t know just how long he was going to hold on.    
  
Even through his seriously intent actions, Cas managed to gaze between Dean and the pie, conveying what he wanted with his eyes easily. Dean didn’t hesitate to finish off the pie by shoving the rest in his mouth.    
  
There was an explosion of flavor on his tongue and Cas hummed around his dick, like he was laughing, and that was all it took. Dean threw his head back and swallowed while just letting go.    
  
Cas coughed a little but he swallowed most of it while Dean panted, slumped in his seat. Cas chuckled quietly and tucked Dean’s dick back in his jeans, moving back to his chair like he’d never even left.    
  
“See, Dean? My dislike for pie is nothing for you to concern yourself with. There’s more for you.” Cas said casually.    
  
“Cas.” Dean breathed out, sitting up and opening his eyes. “What just happened?”    
  
“I believe you know what a blowjob is, Dean. The pie, though, that was a whim.” Cas said and waved his hand nonchalantly.    
  
“I- What- Why did you- I don’t understand.” Dean stuttered, blinking at Cas.    
  
Cas just smirked at him and shook his head, something knowing in his eyes. Cas stood up, grabbing the empty plates and smiling down at Dean. He looked particularly devious, nothing like a former Angel should.    
  
“Next time, it’s your turn and I’m making burgers.” Cas told him and walked away, placing the plates in the sink before leaving the room with the air of a man who’d just won everything in his whole life.    
  
Dean stared at nothing for a long moment, his mind blank. Eventually, his thoughts drifted to him sucking Cas off while he ate burgers and Dean stood abruptly. His face was on fire and he couldn’t exactly think.    
  
He needed a beer.    
  
The moment he opened the refrigerator and went to grab a beer, his eyes fell on the leftover pie they’d been eating. Just at the glance, Dean’s dick twitched and it was in that moment he knew he was fucked. Dean was never going to be able to look at pie again with sporting a hard-on and that was going to provide for some very uncomfortable family dinners.    
  
Dean glared at the door Cas disappeared out of. Oh, that was so fucked up. Cas was evil and this proved it more than him not liking pie to begin with.    
  
“Bastard ruined pie for me.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm over here on Tumblr: http://son-of-a-bitch-spn-family.tumblr.com/post/150146624325/so-those-writing-prompts-i-reblogged-yeah-ill


End file.
